Faith is believing the unseen and Trusting the promise.

My fist are clenched and my heart is beating fast and all I can think about is how mad I am. I want to bust out in tears, scream its not fair and disappear when a friend looks at me; saying the longer you focus on the burdens the longer they will hurt.  UGHhh I wanted to bust out with every excuse in the world to say well I can act this way and its fine because things suck right now. And I know she is right and I think about how I haven't given my hurts up to the Lord because I am afraid that He will not fix them the way I want them to be fixed. I want justice the way I see it to be just and I know its wrong. Selfish is what it is... The lack of trust, the pride of being in control, the self centered thoughts of its all about me. I am sorry my dear friends if I have complained to you about life lately, made you feel uncomfortable or just made a good day an ok one because of my attitude who am I to tell the God of the universe He is to small to deal with my problems. SHAME on Me.

So after this chat if the Lord didn't want to encourage me I have no idea what He was doing because I read a message from a friend on facebook which made me go read my past blog post. Slap SLAP. Did I forget all of those things, no but I choose to push truth to the side in order to have a pit party.

Pit Party- enjoying the pit and having so much fun complaining about it that you forget that Jesus is the way out. 


I never thought I would be worth anything and I always asked God if he loved me so much why would He ever make me go through these things and the truth is for His glory. I can give everything good in my life to the simple answer only God and for His glory. Keep your heads up for its only but a season that we have troubles because the joy is in the morning. It is said that no one could ever pull us away from God but we also are called to live pure and blameless lives. March 18th, 2010


So without relying on the Lord this is where I have gotten........ No where, two step forward ten steps back. A running leap to bounce off the wall back to the same spot. My eyes fixed on the worldly prize instead of heavens gates. Where is the glory for the father in that? I feel as of now the Lord has taken me out of the place where I feel like everything is going to be ok again to stick me in panic mode not so I will hurt but so I will say Lord I need you. LORD I NEED you More and More and MORE. Today, tomorrow and everyday after that. So Jen what are you going to do with that? August 21st, 2011


The Lord said tonight through friends Jen you dumby I already taught you this months ago and you forgot. I am here you just have to call on me. I will always be here for you and your problems are just as important as the next persons and you need not rely on others but on me. Bring it to the cross not to the people I have given to love you and to be blessing to you. Keep being filled by my word and pour in to others and they pour in to you. Love people before yourself and hey everything will be ok with time.