Leadership Journal
Should be sleeping but a thousand things run through my head and seeing that I have not written a blog in a while I will share some of my many thoughts. I friend of mine pointed me to a verse this past week that reads This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God. 1 John 5:3-5. What does this mean in my life? In the past week I have had many struggles, much heartache and so many doubts. I felt incapable to do anything and then I realized I cannot do anything on my own. BBBS carnival was Saturday, Wednesday through Friday I couldn’t eat, didn’t sleep and could hardly control my emotions. I was fighting a battle by myself that I didn’t have to fight alone. I wanted to break down and cry I was most definitely ready to give up and call it quits but the little voice inside my head saying hold on Jen I am with you can alive. Friday morning I stopped I allowed myself to understand the truth about the situation, when you put your all into it with full heart and care sometimes you got to let go. In Luke 19:17 “he said to him, ‘Well done, good servant! Because you have been faithful in a very little, you shall have authority over ten cities.’” I was faithful in every part of the project I had my hand on and now it was up to the class.
Often I put a reasonability on myself that its all about me and if I don’t pull through than no one will and everyone will look and at me and said you failed me. I saw that you can not fall short or fail anyone but yourself. A person is not responsible for everyone’s feels but we are responsible for the way we talk to others and the amount of work we put in. I gave it my all and then some this week so I have walk away feeling pretty good about what happened, but I don't.
This week I have found out that in trying to look good and trying to work hard I lost what the point of serving is. Serving is to work to help or work along someone else for the other party not your self, not for the glory you get from doing watever you go but the joy of loving someone like Christ loved me first.
This week my life has looked crazy from the outside but no one real got to see the inside.
" When it rains it pours only on my head."
I just wanted to say thank you for just meeting with me for that hour today. You don't know how much of a blessing and encouragement it is to me to just listen to you talk. I think everything may just be ok with some prayer and slowing down. I think I have been spending so much time proving to others that I'm good enough or that I've changed from that drunk girl in a bar that I lost the true meaning and the every day blessings of life. I hope that won't be our only coffee date! I appreciate you and I am thankful for you. May the Lord keep blessing you and allow you to continue to bless others.
Love
Jen
Love
Jen
" When it rains it pours but the Awesome thing is that God makes the rain and brings the thunder and then clears it all up with a rainbow. God is good all the time!"
God speaks through people, God put you on others hearts and God id love and truth. Praise the Lord you spoke to me through a few people and so I will press on knowing there will be rainbows on that final day.
I could feel those prayers. I am pretty sure I passed my class after just checking my scores. I will have to take the class again but I will be able to stay in school. Praise the Lord. Now to only to figure out how I am going to pay my rent and all that fun stuff with nothing in the bank :) By the way thanks for being so honest with me today! A good slap in the face by the truth is always great!
