Love is patient.
Patient-enduring trying circumstances with even temper, tolerant, understanding
Love is Kind.
Kind- indulgent, considerate, not harmful
Love does not Envy.
Envy- feeling of grudging or somewhat admiring discontent aroused by the possessions, achievements, or qualities of another
Love does not boast. Is not proud.
Boast/ proud- to speak of with excessive pride or vanity.
Love does not dishonor others.
Dishonor- never gives a reason for regret, disgracefully, indecently
Love is not self-seeking.
This is not natural because love is passionate but it is not about your feelings.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Friday, September 16, 2011
Beautiful Focus
Beautiful Focus!
Reach deep, deep, deep down in that heart of yours and you find that there is just a small, tiny, little piece that you cannot seem to grab, but you know it's there. That tiny, mini, small, bit that you cannot touch is the part that some days you don't know is there, but the Lord does. With the process of pulling back the mask slowly has the Lord crept in to touch that small piece that I have been holding on to. The Lord has been revealing the inner most hurts, shame, pain and letting me deal with it one day at a time. As He brings each issue to the light I hear a light whisper that says "My daughter I am with you always and I will be your leaning post when you feel you can no longer stand."
Praising in the storms and the battles of this life has been the hardest, but greatest struggle of all. Rejoice in the Lord always again I say Rejoice. I didn't know this until recently, but you may not have a smile on your face and still be joyful at heart. Its a hard battle to be willing to let the Lord change you because when doing it on your on you never have to worry about the little pieces you don't remember you have tucked away to deal with on another. The Lord deals with those pieces first and even if you can see the molding taking place when the Lord works He works hard.
Over these weeks that the Lord has really been picking these issues up and making me deal with them because finally I asked Him to I have seen alot. I am a selfish person, but aren't we all. I do tons of "good things" though my heart isn't always in the game but my eyes are look in the crowd waiting for them to cheer me on. I have been able to love people in a new light not for any reason but because I should love them. My gift of encouragement has been shine brightly because it is not longer me trying so hard to do it on my own.
Things have not been easy, but the Lord has provided some awesome friend who stuck by even on my crazy days. The other day the Lord blesses me with time to sit and chat with a wise friend of mine and she shared something that very much has changed my life. Ex 14:14 "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
On those days that you are spent and you have nothing left to pour out and give it is ok to just sit and be still. The Lord has already fought and won the battle and goes before us in each and every struggle. We have not lost we just did not win in the way we thought it should have gone. Praise be to God who knows all things, see all things and takes care of everything under the heavens.
Reach deep, deep, deep down in that heart of yours and you find that there is just a small, tiny, little piece that you cannot seem to grab, but you know it's there. That tiny, mini, small, bit that you cannot touch is the part that some days you don't know is there, but the Lord does. With the process of pulling back the mask slowly has the Lord crept in to touch that small piece that I have been holding on to. The Lord has been revealing the inner most hurts, shame, pain and letting me deal with it one day at a time. As He brings each issue to the light I hear a light whisper that says "My daughter I am with you always and I will be your leaning post when you feel you can no longer stand."
Praising in the storms and the battles of this life has been the hardest, but greatest struggle of all. Rejoice in the Lord always again I say Rejoice. I didn't know this until recently, but you may not have a smile on your face and still be joyful at heart. Its a hard battle to be willing to let the Lord change you because when doing it on your on you never have to worry about the little pieces you don't remember you have tucked away to deal with on another. The Lord deals with those pieces first and even if you can see the molding taking place when the Lord works He works hard.
Over these weeks that the Lord has really been picking these issues up and making me deal with them because finally I asked Him to I have seen alot. I am a selfish person, but aren't we all. I do tons of "good things" though my heart isn't always in the game but my eyes are look in the crowd waiting for them to cheer me on. I have been able to love people in a new light not for any reason but because I should love them. My gift of encouragement has been shine brightly because it is not longer me trying so hard to do it on my own.
Things have not been easy, but the Lord has provided some awesome friend who stuck by even on my crazy days. The other day the Lord blesses me with time to sit and chat with a wise friend of mine and she shared something that very much has changed my life. Ex 14:14 "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
On those days that you are spent and you have nothing left to pour out and give it is ok to just sit and be still. The Lord has already fought and won the battle and goes before us in each and every struggle. We have not lost we just did not win in the way we thought it should have gone. Praise be to God who knows all things, see all things and takes care of everything under the heavens.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Praise Be to God!
Can I just say that looking at life different begins to make you think different and spending time in the Word makes you feel different and believing that the Lord has the BEST for you is the difference.
My day was really good today, making small steps to grow closer to the face the Lord wants me to have. For the first time in a long time I didn't need my mask I was just Jen Sims and even though I don't know who she is fully but I rested in Him today and it changed the way I looked at everything.
I woke up in the morning feeling super rested.
I got in the Word just case Satan was testing.
Suck in all that truth and got some coffee
By the time I got to campus I was feeling pretty happy.
The weather was nice I got to praise God
I went to all my classes and didn't skip a beat
The silly girl did take my seat
But it didn't matter because the Lords on my side
I'm feelin alright without a pimped out ride
haha . Still trying to figure out how to keep this up. Any ideas?
My day was really good today, making small steps to grow closer to the face the Lord wants me to have. For the first time in a long time I didn't need my mask I was just Jen Sims and even though I don't know who she is fully but I rested in Him today and it changed the way I looked at everything.
I woke up in the morning feeling super rested.
I got in the Word just case Satan was testing.
Suck in all that truth and got some coffee
By the time I got to campus I was feeling pretty happy.
The weather was nice I got to praise God
I went to all my classes and didn't skip a beat
The silly girl did take my seat
But it didn't matter because the Lords on my side
I'm feelin alright without a pimped out ride
haha . Still trying to figure out how to keep this up. Any ideas?
Monday, September 5, 2011
I Don't Know Anymore!?!?!
I have had my mask on for so long that this past week I finally was able to pull it off, but I no longer knew the face under it.
For years I would smile a fake smile that said everything was fine yet I was hurting so much. My parent got a divorce and the father that I loved so much disappeared never to be seen again. Many other things happened during these times in my life and I felt shame and wanted to cry but I felt like I need to be strong. When I moved to Florida I thought it would be amazing and it was really hard. I lost all of my friends and had to find new ones. I fell in love with a boy who could never love me the way I needed and ended up braking my heart. I drank and did drugs to be able to keep the mask of everything is when I was dying inside. My grandmother died the year I graduated high school and I blamed myself for being selfish and not saying goodbye. I never cried because I felt like I needed to be strong. I adopted this I don't care attitude and soon I left for college. I missed my mom and sister but I was to afraid to say I was scared to move 12 hours away and didn't want to fail them so I stayed far away at college and tried not to talk to them in order to get over it. I drank a lot more and found friends that were into the same thing. Soon those activities couldn't help me keep the mask on so I had to look for the next step. Trying to kill myself seemed to be the only answer I thought there was to solve these problems but that didn't work out either. I came to know the Lord through a friend I meet. My name is Sara and I love the Lord ran through my head over and over again. Months later I still thought about her love for the Lord we became great friends and started hanging out. I saw something different in her and I wanted it. I gave my life to the Lord and put a new mask on.
My new mask wasn't the normal mask of smiles and drinking but a mask of everything is perfect cause I have the Lord. I struggle with this still. I have the mask off but don't know how to act. I can't smile anymore and say everything is great because I no longer want to lie. The truth is I'm hurting, I am scared and I don't know how to give everything up to the Lord. Thank God He never said it was going to be easy because it def isn't but His promises say that he is with me always and will not leave my side. I don't want to be the Debby downer in the positive Polly world nor fake Polly when I'm feeling Debby. I want to be honest with people. I don't understand love, trust or change. Change is something I feat most because I have no control of that. I need to have control to feel safe but lately the Lord has chosen to show me that I am in control of nothing.
I have been completely silent before the Lord because I don't know where to start or how to fix all of this mess. I know that the Lord know exactly what it is that is holding me back and will continue to hold me until I am the women He wants me to be.
I know the Lord is telling me to go home after graduation in the spring and I really am afraid and so I hope that the Lord will break me down and gather me back up in order to show my family who the creator is and what He can do alot with someone who has no good in them. I need to learn to put God first because it doesn't matter how much time you spend doing good things if He is not first and your counting on something else.
Do you not know?
For years I would smile a fake smile that said everything was fine yet I was hurting so much. My parent got a divorce and the father that I loved so much disappeared never to be seen again. Many other things happened during these times in my life and I felt shame and wanted to cry but I felt like I need to be strong. When I moved to Florida I thought it would be amazing and it was really hard. I lost all of my friends and had to find new ones. I fell in love with a boy who could never love me the way I needed and ended up braking my heart. I drank and did drugs to be able to keep the mask of everything is when I was dying inside. My grandmother died the year I graduated high school and I blamed myself for being selfish and not saying goodbye. I never cried because I felt like I needed to be strong. I adopted this I don't care attitude and soon I left for college. I missed my mom and sister but I was to afraid to say I was scared to move 12 hours away and didn't want to fail them so I stayed far away at college and tried not to talk to them in order to get over it. I drank a lot more and found friends that were into the same thing. Soon those activities couldn't help me keep the mask on so I had to look for the next step. Trying to kill myself seemed to be the only answer I thought there was to solve these problems but that didn't work out either. I came to know the Lord through a friend I meet. My name is Sara and I love the Lord ran through my head over and over again. Months later I still thought about her love for the Lord we became great friends and started hanging out. I saw something different in her and I wanted it. I gave my life to the Lord and put a new mask on.
My new mask wasn't the normal mask of smiles and drinking but a mask of everything is perfect cause I have the Lord. I struggle with this still. I have the mask off but don't know how to act. I can't smile anymore and say everything is great because I no longer want to lie. The truth is I'm hurting, I am scared and I don't know how to give everything up to the Lord. Thank God He never said it was going to be easy because it def isn't but His promises say that he is with me always and will not leave my side. I don't want to be the Debby downer in the positive Polly world nor fake Polly when I'm feeling Debby. I want to be honest with people. I don't understand love, trust or change. Change is something I feat most because I have no control of that. I need to have control to feel safe but lately the Lord has chosen to show me that I am in control of nothing.
I have been completely silent before the Lord because I don't know where to start or how to fix all of this mess. I know that the Lord know exactly what it is that is holding me back and will continue to hold me until I am the women He wants me to be.
I know the Lord is telling me to go home after graduation in the spring and I really am afraid and so I hope that the Lord will break me down and gather me back up in order to show my family who the creator is and what He can do alot with someone who has no good in them. I need to learn to put God first because it doesn't matter how much time you spend doing good things if He is not first and your counting on something else.
Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40: 28-31
So here are some of the things I am working on and struggling with at the same time:
1. Being positive even in negative situations
I need you to tell me if I am being negative in a loving way
2. Dealing with personal issues
3. Spending time with the Lord in order to understand who I am in Him seeing I don't have a face right now
I need some people to check up on me and ask me how my time in the word is going and ask about what I am learning
4. being honest
I know many of you can tell if I am being honest so if I say I'm fine but don't look like it call me out
5. Loving people how Christ would but no allowing people to walk all over me
6. Being ok that I am not in control
7. Accepting change and understanding I cant do it on my own
So now that I was honest and got a lot out I'm done updating for right now but will write sometime this week about my plan of action for working on these things.
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